Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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