well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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