I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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