on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
