You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Me. At least after what I've been through.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
