3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
