Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
