WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
