Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
