Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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