David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
this is an emotional support booty call
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
