Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
