we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
These tits shall not be calmed
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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