Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
