Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
