i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize