in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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