I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
