I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
