Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize