So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
