then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
