just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
