I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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