Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
