the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
