What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
