so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
