just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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