nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i dont even know how to be here
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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