You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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