just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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