I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
