she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
