Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just had sex on a roof
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
