That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
