i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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