i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The air was thick with penises
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
