We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
