I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
