she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
