Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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