im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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