another moral hangover. fuck.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
