Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
