no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
