My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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