I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
