when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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