Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
