Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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