I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
