Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just puked most of my soul out..
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