well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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