I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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