if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
