he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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