Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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