Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
