Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
