Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize