You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
