Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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