pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I think i got beer on your cat.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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