After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
