i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
