Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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