You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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