i need an iv and a liver transplant
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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