The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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