Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
