You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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