Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
