i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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